I hope there’s no such thing as grieving wrong, or I have a lot to answer for. I didn’t weep when my mother died, a bit more than four years ago. I miss her, but her death happened, and it was probably for the best that she died of something else before her developing Alzheimer’s could steal her mind.
Am I a cold fish? It could well be, but if I had hurt more over her death, if I had cried and cried, what good would it have done anyone? Would God, if there be a God, be pleased with me? I repeatedly visited her (and my father while he lived) in their assisted living facility. When her life was over, it was over, or if people outlive their bodies, that part is outside my power.
So please pardon my intrusion, and don’t blame yourself for doing grief wrong; you feel as you feel, and react as you react. Try to control what you can, and be a good father to your son, and a good friend and neighbor. I do not think that your beloved wife would blame you for not weeping more.
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Date: 2019-10-04 02:23 am (UTC)Am I a cold fish? It could well be, but if I had hurt more over her death, if I had cried and cried, what good would it have done anyone? Would God, if there be a God, be pleased with me? I repeatedly visited her (and my father while he lived) in their assisted living facility. When her life was over, it was over, or if people outlive their bodies, that part is outside my power.
So please pardon my intrusion, and don’t blame yourself for doing grief wrong; you feel as you feel, and react as you react. Try to control what you can, and be a good father to your son, and a good friend and neighbor. I do not think that your beloved wife would blame you for not weeping more.