“Boys Will be Boys” and Other Minimizing Comments

[jimhines]

Yes, I’ve got a bit of a theme going on the blog this week. Today I was feeling rather snarky, and decided to translate some of the dismissive, minimizing, and flat-out insulting responses you often hear when talking about sexual harassment.

“Boys will be boys.” - I believe that anyone with a penis has a God-given right to harass and assault others.

“They don’t mean anything by it.” - Yay, I can read minds! Also, intention is more important that results. On a totally unrelated note, I’m sorry I backed over your child in the parking lot, but I didn’t mean to do it, so no harm done, right?

“Oh, he’s just lacking in social skills.” - He’s spent years working on skills like finding and isolating victims, intimidating them, dodging blame, and convincing twits like me to defend him.

“But he’s such a nice guy!” - I live in a fantasy world where rapists and harassers have goatees and eyepatches and are named Rapist McScumbag and wear blinking nametags proclaiming their twisted predilections for all to see.

“It’s a compliment!” - I have no idea what the word “compliment” really means.

“They’re probably just autistic or something.” - Autistics are completely incapable of learning rules or boundaries, and I have special powers that let me diagnose people as autistic despite my utter lack of training or experience. (See my previous rant on this one.)

“You should have ripped his nuts off!” - You’re a failure because you’re not a badass like me. Did I ever tell you how I totally would have choked the Central Park Rapist to death with his own genitals? Man, if I’d been in Iraq, I’d have punched Saddam right in the nutsack. I watch MMA every night, so don’t screw with me!

“Why are you being such a bitch about this?” - Women are supposed to shut up and accept whatever guys do to them. What the hell are you doing out of the kitchen, anyway?

“He’s just being friendly.” - I’m sure he grabs, gropes, ogles, and harasses all his friends! Also, I have no idea what “friendly” means, either. Words are hard. Would someone please buy me a freaking dictionary?!!

“Why do you have to get all PC about everything?” - My political party embraces sexual harassment and assault! Vote Douchebag in 2012!

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Prior posts:
Supporting Victims of Sexual Harassment
Sexual Harassment: Bystander Intervention

Mirrored from Jim C. Hines.

Comments

[legionseagle]

"He's just drunk" - Getting drunk is a licence to rape and assault. It is, conversely, no excuse for being raped or harassed; it simply demonstrates that the woman in question was reckless as well as being a slut.

[jimhines]

Ugh. Yep...

[legionseagle]

"It's only words" (said by the person in charge of a workplace where various female workers had complained about crude language used in an intimidatory manner by a group of the male workers in the workplace). Unless this escalates to physical violence, I propose to do nothing. When it escalates to physical violence, I shall use your failure to raise the atmosphere here earlier as evidence that you went along with it.

[snippy]

I should be so lucky! The benefits you get from being conventionally attractive outweigh any detriments, and you cannot possibly suffer damage because of that privilege.