Oh Zombie Tree (A Holiday Carol)

[jimhines]

And now for something completely different…

Oh Zombie Tree
by Jim C. Hines

Oh zombie tree, oh zombie tree,
How hungry are your branches!
I hear the screams of lumberjacks
Who tried to slay you with an axe.
Oh zombie tree, oh zombie tree,
How hungry are your branches!

Oh zombie tree, oh zombie tree,
You are the tree most feared.
If ever we venture outside,
We’ll take chainsaws and herbicide.
Oh zombie tree, oh zombie tree,
You are the tree most feared.

Oh zombie tree, oh zombie tree,
Your needles brown and piercing.
Your roots creep through our flesh and brains.
You’re fertilized with our remains.
Oh zombie tree, oh zombie tree,
Your needles brown and piercing.

Mirrored from Jim C. Hines.

Comments

[karohemd]

Wonderful!
(pointed here by miss_s_b

[jimhines]

Thank you! :-)

[georgmi]

There are, apparently, no decent images of flaming chainsaws on the Web. I expect this post to change that very soon.

[bodlon]

When they haul me off for singing this in public, I'll think of you in the holding cell.